Baby Care - All About Routines

New parents often talk about "getting into a routine" as if it is an essential aspect of good baby care. But even if most parents find life is made easier by having at least some structure to the day, not everyone feels this way. Always remind yourself that having a routine is your choice. The only limits are the ones that you set yourself, and if you do want a routine, you'll need to work at it. Once there, it can either be a life saver or it can be a chain around your ankles - but if you felt it was the latter, you wouldn't have got into it in the first place, would you?

Do I need a routine?

Even if you wouldn't consider yourself routine-bound, it's likely that having children will more or less force you into doing certain things the same way each day. However, the mistake many new parents make is to think that a routine has to be put into place more or less from week one of their baby's life. In fact, the early weeks - and depending on your personality, the early months - can quite easily be fairly relaxed and routine-free.

Being realistic

Try not to have great expectations of getting into a routine early on. After all, a baby doesn't arrive with a routine: look at how many parents with two or more children fit their newborn into the life they're already leading with their older child or children, with hardly a blip.

If you want structure in your life, however, you've got to put it there, and your baby will probably take a while to cotton on. The good news is that babies are very adaptable. It's true that they can cope easily with changes in their day-to-day lives, but it is also true that they can thrive on routine.

Don't forget that babies will make their own changes to the routines you try to set, particularly when they're small. For example, as they grow, you'll find that their sleep and feeding patterns alter all the time, so you can't depend on things staying the same for long.

Adapting to new patterns

If this is your first baby, you're probably used to a working life with a lot of structure. Perhaps things changed from day to day, but you still got up at roughly the same time each morning, made the same journey to your office, went to the same place or places at lunchtime, chatted with the same people, and left work at a similar time. You had ways of doing things that suited you. Suddenly, all that has gone. Now, if you are at home all day, you might face 9 or 10 hours on your own with the baby. What you do, where you go, and who you see is all up to you, and no one and nothing is going to come along and give you a framework unless you decide to put one there.

Baby Care - How Well is my Baby Eating?

Many parents worry in the early weeks about how much their babies are eating - specifically, they worry because they seem to be eating all the time. Not only does this make moms feel that they're not giving their babies enough food, but they also feel that they are not getting any time to do anything except sit on the sofa while breast- or bottle-feeding their baby. And then as your baby grows, it takes time experimenting with solid foods, finding out what she likes and doesn't like, and slowly weaning your baby off her all-milk diet. It's not the easiest phase to get through, but it's all worth it.

How well is my baby eating?

This is a worry that so many parents have, regardless of whether their baby is being breastfed or bottle-fed. If our babies could tell us whether their cries meant that they were cold, hungry, hot, or just generally out of sorts, we'd at least know what the matter was. But whenever your baby cries, the chances are that you'll worry that she's hungry and, over time, that may make you question whether the amount of milk she's getting is really enough to keep her well nourished.

Almost all pediatricians plot a baby's weight, height, and head circumference on a growth curve, or percentile chart.

This may be done every month, or more or less frequently, depending on your baby's age and how well she is gaining weight. Your pediatrician will check that your baby is roughly following the growth line that's expected of her.

On average, your baby will gain around 1 oz (25g) in weight daily from around 2 week to 3 months of age. Between 3 and 6 months of age. Between 3 and 6 months of age, her growth rate will slow down to 5 oz (150 g) a week.

The signs of a well-fed baby

Actually, contrary to popular belief, you don't need weighing scales to tell whether baby is thriving or not. But you do need to look carefully at your child, and to be aware of how she's changing as the weeks go by. In particular, bear in mind that she should be "filling out" - although this will not necessarily happen very quickly.

It's all relative, however, so don't expect your premature baby to suddenly have rolls of fat. My eldest daughter Rosie, who was born at 29 weeks and weighed just under 3 lb (1.4 kg), was a little scrap of a thing for months. I'm sure that, to the untrained eye, she must have looked severely undernourished and I found my visits to the pediatrician's office to get her weighed were a bit of a confidence-denter. Sitting there surrounded by bouncing cherubs, I'd often meet a baby who was bigger than Rosie and half her age. But what mattered wasn't comparing her with these other babies. It was comparing her with the baby that she used to be - and although I didn't always succeed, I did try to remind myself of that.

Your baby's diapers are a good indication of whether she's getting enough milk. If you are changing between six and eight wet diapers a day, your baby is doing fine.

Look, too, at how active and alert your child is ­these are important signs that she is growing and developing normally. For example, babies love the chance to kick their legs, move their arms around, and exercise their muscles when they are lying down on the floor. If she's doing this, it's a good indication that your baby is healthy, happy, and well.

Child Care: Caring for Your Baby

If it's your first, your baby is going to make a big difference in your life. Inevitably, your household routine will revolve around his timetable and your thoughts will be dominated by the responsibility of caring for him.

Bringing up a baby is not nearly as complicated at it seems, but it is all too easy for a new mother to be so taken up with doing the right thing that she misses the enjoyment of his babyhood. Make up your mind from the start to enjoy your baby. Have confidence that what you and your husband instinctively feel like doing for him is probably right. Mothering time is a special time set aside each day for getting to know each other. A baby cannot understand the words you say but if you talk to him quietly, he can tell by your tone of voice that you think he is the most wonderful baby in the world! Gradually, he will respond to you, with smiles and cooing sounds. You will come to look forward eagerly to this precious half hour or so each day. Your husband may also like to take a turn with the baby now and again. If you let him manage on his own, he will become quite adept at pinning on nappies and it is good for the baby to get used to being handled by someone other than his mother.

Feeding is a baby's greatest pleasure in life and sucking is the only skill he is born with. But it is not the only physical act of sucking - it is the close, intimate contact with his mother that he finds so satisfying. Cuddle him close at feeding times, whether he is breast- or bottle-fed.

Breast milk has all the advantages. It is safe, germ-free, easily digestible and always at the right temperature. It saves hours of time and work, costs nothing and increases in quantity to meet the baby's demands. The key to successful breastfeeding is a calm and peaceful atmosphere. Wash your hands before you feed and see that you are comfortable and relaxed. Put the baby to both breasts at each feed, starting with the right and then left alternatively. This ensures that at least one breast is emptied at each feed, thus stimulating further milk production. As a guide, ten minutes at each breast is an average time, but small babies usually fall asleep before the twenty minutes is up and larger ones may take all the milk there is in half the time. After the feed, keep the nipples clean with a pad of cotton wool or gamgee.

Your baby will thrive even if you don't breastfeed him. It is a disappointment, but not a disaster. So which milk to choose? Dried milks are widely used, convenient and safe. Fresh milk will do, when boiled and diluted. Evaporated milk is increasingly popular. Choose whichever you like and stick to it. If anything goes wrong, it is probably the strength or the quantity that needs changing and not the brand. When using dried milk, it is best to mix the feed immediately before use, as the fat separates out when left to stand. But if you do make up the days feeds and keep them in the refrigerator, be sure to shake well before use, so that the fat is evenly distributed.